it’s a good thing I’m in therapy or I’d (still) be standing on the side of the road with a big “I HEART BLEACH” sign. We all know how THAT turned out.


craptastrophe (pile of crap under my kid’s bed). Because, well, obviously.


Stink-a-palloza (a term normally reserved for the scent of particularly badly cooked fish) diaper changes


Touchyuck – the people grease left behind on light switched, hand rails, walls, and anywhere else people touch with their hands or fingers.


Spitzits – those little white spots that pop up on bathroom surfaces after someone brushes their teeth.


Carpet Poop – maybe I should call it Carpoop for short – is NOT fun to clean up.


Dirtinator (dirt-in-A-tor) The child who shows up covered in mud and muck that seems to have spawned from a futuristic alien place… and you just know no matter how hard you scrub, they will be back.


Itsnotmyfaultist – The stain that results on your shirt due to Napkinabsence.


Napkinabsence: When you have to use your shirt to wipe your mouth because Mom forgot to give you a napkin.


Scrub-a luscious: The tune you hear in your head while cleaning your shower or tub